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Quotes - Alcohol
See also Quotes - Drinkers & Drinking

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." Anon
"Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working" Harold Rudolph
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." Jack Handey
"Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk" Christopher Howse
"Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean .. against bars, tables, chairs and poles" Anon
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." Dave Barry
"He was a wise man who invented beer" Plato
"Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon" Anon
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." Frank Zappa
"You don't have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps." Unknown
"Whisky is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold." Jerry Vale
"What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for." Irish Proverb
"Irish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol." Anon
"Wine is bottled poetry" Robert Louis Stevenson
"Wine is sunlight, held together by water." Galileo
"Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion." Ovid``
"Why is there so much wine left at the end of my money?" Milan Maximovich
"Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine" Karl Marx
"If drinking is evil, then why did Jesus turn water into wine?" Anon
"A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk."  Lee Entrekin
"This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts" Samuel Johnson
"A hangover is the wrath of grapes." Unknown

"And God said, 'Let there be vodka!'  And He saw that it was good.
Then God said, 'Let there be light!;  And then he said, 'Whoa - too much light.'"

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dog in deckchair